Mike's Comment after my ShowerI like to have soft feet...I ignore them entirely too much, so I don't have them. On top of that, due to my extreme case of Plantar Fascitis, I spend almost all of my time with my foot taped up. Because my lovely and talented husband gets to tape my foot, it's not nearly that neat.
The down side of surgery and plantar fascitis is medical adhesive. It sticks. Forever. Long after you remove whatever it was meant to adhere to your body. In fact, the object of the adherence might JUST fall off. So apparently it just sticks to skin forever. In my current life, it means that I constantly have black and gummy lines on my feet from where the last round of tape was.
Why don't I just wash it off? Two reasons. First? The previous paragraph. Soap don't work. Acetone? Nope. Petroleum Jelly? Ok, takes forever. Second? Well, I shower in the morning, approximately 3 hours AFTER my husband vacates the house. While he's perfectly happy to wake me up to give me shots in the butt before he leaves, I don't have to shower first and I can turn over and go back to sleep.
Tonight, I did some heavy lifting, and it's a bit muggy around here. So, I decided to get a shower before bed. And I decided to clean my foot and make it soft before hubby attacks it with more tape. So, I dug into my quickly emptying tub of Peppermint Foot Scrub. And it felt so good when I did the left foot, I decided to do the right. Unfortunately, I'm a klutz. You knew that. So, I knocked off the tub of peppermint foot scrub onto the bottom of the tub. And milliseconds later, a glob of peppermint foot scrub arrived in my eye. I gotta say that it's ALWAYS hard to flush your eye with water...I mean water doesn't feel good to begin with, and strangely, your eye is designed to shut tight to help create tears and wash out the stuff you got in there. When it's peppermint AND gritty? Yeah, fun.
So, I come out and tell my husband what happened. He cocks his head and I think he's trying to figure out how I managed to get a big glob of peppermint foot scrub into my eye. Nope, he posed the question above.
No good comes of bathing. Or of marriage.
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I am starting to postulate a theory that something happens in the collective unconscious on the day a man marries. What else can explain the uniformity of their reactions in these situations? That is 100%, exactly, absolutely, completely what Fluffy Bear would've said.
For more evidence of my theory, read http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com/
At first I thought my husband was a polygamist and that he was married to this blogger. Because SURELY the man he is describing is my husband...
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