I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator

Twilight, Stephenie Meyer
Ok, this I can NOT blame on The Bastard Neil. Nor, until he reads this, did he even know to mock me (though after his summer reading, all I can say is he needs to zip it). I cannot blame this on Bert. Though he's got enough blame to shoulder for a life time. No THIS? This is Rachel's fault. And frankly, she deserves to be tired from the Portland Marathon today. Freakish fool that I adore.

Rachel invited me to join her book group. Because, well, Rachel rocks. Duh! Last month's book was Catch-22. I hate that book. And this is not about that book. And I was sick during that book club. No, really, because I would have had a thing or two to say about hating that book.

Anyway, this month's is Twilight. If you've been too a book store since July, the 4th book of the series is the one with the chess scene on the cover. Oh! That one. Mike read it quite a while ago, but I always teased him about it being high school vampire porn. Human girl and vampire "boy" meet. Fall madly in love. Much tragedy ensues over the course of 4 books.

I picked up the first book the week before Labor Day. Too popular to get out of the library in any sort of timely fashion. Had to buy it paperback (YUCK). Had to buy it (I don't buy books, that's what libraries are for). Took me a week or so to finish, since we painted the kitchen over Labor Day. I finished it on the plane between Seattle and Houston on my way to Tampa and immediately found the Borders in the Airport to buy Book 2. Yeah, the next day I bought Book 3 and suffice to say I was done with Book 4 before I left Tampa. It's MESMERIZING. Not only did I read them all (not unusual) in a little over a week (a little unusual) but I bought them all (unheard of) and her unrelated one (which I haven't actually read yet though Mike keeps bugging me).

Now, I will tell you why Rachel is evil. A week or so after I got back from Tampa? Yeah, I picked up Twilight (Book 1) again on Friday night and just started paging through. 12 hours later? Done. The next weekend? All three books in about 5 days. READING SLOWLY THIS TIME.

Now I will tell you why Rachel is karmically sore. Earlier this week? I started listening to the audio book. Which at least TAKES LONGER. And, the ultimate in loser-dom??? I PAID FOR THE DAMNED THING. Yes, yes it's true. I couldn't wait for it to come in, so I paid for the damned thing. In my defense, I didn't really mean to. I got the "free trial" from Audible.com, and instead of using my free credits, I um, didn't. I think that qualifies me. So, I used my free credits on Book 2:)!

Anyway, there aren't a ton of good one-liners. And I should know, now that I'm going through it for the THIRD FRIGGIN' TIME. Did I mention the movie comes out on November 21?